Take me, leave me: TWILIGHT VERSION
by Ms. Mimi Elphie-Amy
Summary: Bella has had enough with Eddieboy!*pure crackfic* NOT made to offend, for entertainment only! featuring: twihards/twihaters, Eddieboy, Bella, Maureen, Jo, Emmett, and ME! OPEN FOR TWIHARDS & TWIHATERS! mostly for twihaters though, srry Twihards! REVIEW!


Hey everyone! This is a random crackfic that was born from boredom and listening to 'Take me or Leave me' from RENT (if you've never heard this, you'd better go and find it, because it's AWESOME!) Remember, I don't write this to offend! It's just for laughs! :D

Enjoy, and no flames please!

P.S: MUST READ THIS!:

**Bold **= Random crap that spilled out randomly

_Italics = _the actual story

Regular font = song lyrics

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_It was an ordinary day in Forks, Washington. And it seemed like the ordinarious _(is that even a word?)_ was going to continue throughout the day...but it was not to be._

_Because, deep in the forest, in a house made of glass that was filled with sparkly vampires, was a vampire named Edward, and a human girl named Bella, who were_ ***drumroll***_...fighting! _***GASP*** ***DOUBLE GASP* *THE Bella/Edward FANS GASP SO MUCH THEY PASS OUT***

**Author (Me): You ok Twihards?**

**Twihaters: Don't you mean Twitards? *snorts***

**A (M): No, no be quiet Twihaters, this is a peaceful environment *snickers* Okay! Moving on...**

_They fought over the fact that Eddie-boy—_

**Eddie-boy: Seriously?**

**Twihards: *GASP * Edward! *all run after him***

**Eddie-boy: Author! Help me!**

**A (M): *whispers under breath* Idiot...You deserve it for stepping out of my story...**

**Eddie-boy: PLEASE HELP ME!**

**A (M): *Sighs* Not until you've learned from your dear mistake Eddie-boy!**

**Eddie-boy: I'VE LEARNED! NOW **_**PLEASE**_** PUT ME BACK INTO THE STORY!**

**A (M): *sighs harshly* Fine!**

_They fought over the fact that Eddie-boy refused to let Bella see her precious werewolf, Jacob. All of the Cullens heard them fighting, but they assumed that Bella and Eddie-boy loved each other too much to break up for no reason. Well, until they decided to eavesdrop..._

_~MEANWHILE~_

"_That's it Mr. Ivy-League!" Bella cried, pacing in the living room of the Cullens. Edward stared in shock at his beloved Bella._

"_For a long time I haven't said boo to any of your rules!" Bella continued, "'_Don't have sex with you', _agreed. _'Let you watch me sleep', _absolutely. _'Ride with me in the Death Volvo instead of my truck', _whatever_. _But, _'No seeing Mr. Guy-Who-Actually-Has-Abs'..._that's too much to do! Just to let you know, I love-"_

_Edward gasped audibly, but Bella just rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, "Shut up! Of course I love him you idiot! Now baby—"_

"_I knew it! I mean, you punching him gave you away! I mean, a punch is abuse, so that means—"_

"_Oh c'mon! I love you, and him! Jeez, give me a break!"_

_Then suddenly she broke into song._

**Twihards: What?**

**Twihaters: This'll be interesting**

**Bella: *groans***

**Twihards: OMG, its Bella! Let's kill her so we can have Edward!**

**Bella: *starts to run and hopes she won't trip* Mrs. Author—**

**A (M): Miss, actually. Unlike me, I don't have an Eddie-boy yet! *smirks***

**Bella: *rolls her eyes* Okay, Miss Author, I'd rather sing then- *trips and falls on her face* HELLLPP! EDWARD!**

**A (M): *whispers* you gonna help her?**

**Eddie-boy: *whispers back* no, I'd rather sing**

**A (M): Fine!**

_Anyways..._

**Bella**

Every single day

I walk down the street

I hear Mike and Jacob say,

"Baby so sweet"

Ever since I came to Forks

Everybody stares at me

Boys - vampires

I can't help it baby

So be kind

Don't lose your mind

Just remember that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me baby or leave me

Take me baby or leave me

A wolf in a cage

Can never see the sun

This girl needs her man

Baby - let's have fun!

You are the one I choose

Mike and Jacob would kill to fill your shoes

You love the limelight too now, baby

So be mine

And don't waste my time

Cryin' – 'Oh Bella- are you still my my my baby?'

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn

Take me baby or leave me

No way - can I be what I'm not

But hey - don't you want your girl hot?-*laughs*

Not!

Don't stalk - don't lose your head

Cause every night - who's in watching me sleep in my bed?

Who? Who's watching me sleep in my bed?

Kiss, Eddie *tries to rape him*

**Edward**

It won't work.

I look before I leap

I love my Volvo and I love me

I watch you sleep

Baby, don't steal my virginity!

Never quit - I follow through

I hate depressing girls - but I love you

What to do

With my impromptu baby

So be wise

Cause this vampire satisfies

You've got a prize

But don't compromise

You're one lucky baby

Take me for what I am

**Bella**

A control freak

**Edward**

Who I was meant to be

**Bella**

A diva – who is also a bimbo

**Edward**

And if you give a damn

**Bella**

A creepy talker!

**Edward**

Take me baby or leave me

**Bella**

And a sparkly fairy!

**Both**

That's it!

**Edward**

The straw that breaks my back

**Both**

I quit

**Edward**

Unless you take it back

**Bella**

Vampires!

**Edward**

Brooding girls!

**Bella**

What is it about them?

**Both**

Can't live -

With them -

Or without them!

Take me for what I am

Who I was meant to be

And if you give a damn you better

Take me baby or leave me

Take me baby

Or leave me

Guess I'm leavin'

I'm gone!

_All the Cullens (except Emmett, he's laughing his ass off) gasped when they heard the door slam, and Edward went to the phone to order a Red-Eye to go to Italy._

_Meanwhile, in front of the over-priced house, Bella was surrounded by Jacob, Mike, and all the Twihaters who are congratulating her for finally growing a backbone._

_Me, the writer, sits back with a sigh and begins to laugh with Emmett as I watch Bella get squished by the mob of Twihaters. _

_The End! :)_

**A (M): See, wasn't that a nice ending?**

**Maureen: I hope you realize I'm NOTHING like Bella! She's a skinny little—**

**Joanne: Maureen!**

**Maureen: *rolls her eyes* **

**A (M): I agree with Maureen 100% by the way!**

**Joanne: *seething***

**Bella: HEY! I THOUGHT SINCE YOU WERE WRITING ABOUT ME YOU LIKE ME!**

**Eddie-boy: *trying to keep the large double doors that held all the screaming fangirls close* Bella, little help?**

**Bella: No, thanks. You can handle it baby! *turns to me* Anyways—**

**Emmett: *barges in from some from secret door* Ha ha Eddie-boy, you got pawned by the author, Maureen, AND Bella when Bella sung that to you! *starts to laugh hysterically***

**A (M): True dat! *pumps Emmett's fist***

**Edward: Please, anyone, hel—**

**A (M) & Maureen: I'M GOING HOME!**

**Edward: *glares***

**Joanne: *glares specifically at me* don't you try anything with my girlfriend! You—**

**A (M) & Maureen: *run away giggling* THE END!**


End file.
